Saturday, August 15, 2015

Awkward and Okay With It


I am awkward as fuck. I know because I’ve been told this on multiple occasions. I think it’s one of the side effects of growing up with parents who accepted every phase of my life with love and support, even when I had weird curly side bangs and listened to Nickelback.

People are quick to see my fun, derpy side because I never learned to hide it. By the time it hit me that not everyone is weird it was too late. I’d already let that love and encouragement provided by my parents and friends turn me into the awkward person I am today. For that, I’m incredibly grateful. Some of my classmates figured out that there’s a certain type of person society tells us is normal. They put a lot of effort into making themselves that person and I hated watching it. They were so stiff and constantly worrying about their level of perfection that they forgot to enjoy the moment they were living in.

I’m not saying I never went through those years of self consciousness and horror known as puberty. You can actually see the moment it happened in my school pictures. I went from a beaming, and I.Mean.Beaming kid who’s just happy to be there to a fearful girl-child who thought smiling with her teeth made her look funky. I’m glad I got out of that frame of mind as quick as I could, because there are so many amazing things about being awkward and goofy and a total nerd!

For instance…

I’m always memorable. Weirdos stand out and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. No one ever said “hey remember that girl who looked and acted like everyone else?”

There’s no pressure to impress people. Those amazing people who can appreciate my awkwardness will be appreciated right back. Others can kindly fuck off.

No deciding when to show the man in my life how weird I actually am. He’ll know as soon as I walk in the door.

I know how to enjoy myself without the approval of anyone but me.

All of this because I’ve (for the most part) stopped caring what others think of my personality. What others think of you is none of your damn business. People will think what they think and I can either spend my time worrying about that or I can get over it.

My point is, it’s important to be you. Some people just aren’t awkward; they’re cool and collected and have great personalities too! It’s when awkwardness is squished down for the sake of fitting in that I get riled up. Don’t do that. If you’re an awkward person, don’t just deal with it. Be better! Run with it! Sometimes I make situations awkward just for funsies! Sometimes (all the time) it just happens and all I can do is enjoy the ride.

-E.B

What’s the most awkward situation you’ve ever been in?