Thursday, December 31, 2015

Single & Not Even Trying to Mingle



I honestly can’t remember what it’s like to have a boyfriend. I haven’t been in a serious, committed, can’t breathe when your partner leaves you kind of relationship since high school. I did a brief stint with a guy in Tucson (we even made it facebook official) but it never felt real to me. I couldn’t even remember the date we got together! That’s something I still remember about my past boyfriends!

And I want to be very clear about this: I love being single.

 In no way do I think being single is some kind of sad, debilitating notion that people should struggle through till they find their special person at the end of this horrible single tunnel. No.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that if you can’t be happy by yourself then there’s no way someone can be happy with you. Anyone who chooses to be in an unhappy relationship just because they’re terrified of being alone with themselves have some truly deep, underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Being single is fucking fun!

I’m not a crazy party animal. I don’t go out every night, or even every weekend. But when I do, I have an amazing time! I dance, I enjoy myself, I flirt up a storm. Boys buy me drinks just because I smile at them. And I don’t have to feel guilty about any of it! There’s nothing holding me back, or drawing me away. I can actually live in the moment, and that’s something that’s incredibly important to me.

By far the hardest time to be single is during the holidays.

I think different types of people (in this case people in relationship and those of us who are on our lonesome) have it hard at different times in the year. During the summer there’s this rhetoric of living hard, being wild and free, enjoying yourself and enjoying whoever you want to enjoy. Winter is the ultimate time for couples though. All of a sudden the emphasis is on snuggling up with your lover while it snows outside. It’s on family and creating a family. It’s all about having someone to kiss on New Years. Getting caught up in that mindset is why people like me, who are better off single, find themselves in a bad relationship during winter just for the sake of being in a relationship. So I’m here to prevent myself and others from falling into that trap (again) by giving you some damn good perks of being single during the holidays.

Keep in mind these are told from a straight girl’s point of view, so you might have to tweek a few of them to fit your own lovely preferences..

Single men with beards!
They’re here! They’re everywhere! I looooove facial hair and the winter is when men are most likely to grown out their peach fuzz into an actual beard. Thank you, cold weather, for doing at least one thing that doesn’t make me miserable.

Free Drinks
I mentioned it before, a pretty, single girl at the bar is gonna get a few drinks bought for her. Just as long as you see them getting made and they’re not just brought over to you, go for it.

Money!
I’m one of those people that goes all out for presents for my boyfriends (or, you know, I was) I know it’s typically men who end up spending more on their ladies with dates and whatnot, but I like to pay every once in a while and then go big on gifts so they know I appreciate everything they do for me. Enter a long time period where I don’t need to do that and all of a sudden I have extra cash! (this actually doesn’t apply to me this year since I don’t have money anyways, but it’s nice to reminisce)

Confidence
I love that I can go wherever I want and not have to be surrounded by close friends/boyfriends to enjoy myself. This means that when I am with my close friends (like I will be tonight!) I’ll be having the best time because if these weren’t the people I absolutely wanted to be with then I’d just be by myself!

Family Time
I’m sure it’s great to spend Christmas with your significant other, but I spent mine with my family. And again, I was able to be there 100%, with nothing pulling me away from them. There was lots of sitting around and drinking tea in front of the fire while we laughed at our cat stalk a packing peanut around the house.

Having a special someone to be in a relationship with is an amazing experience. However, I’m not in a rush to be sharing my life with anyone, and I honestly resent it when people assume I’m not happy by myself. I’m an interesting person and that’s what counts when it’s just me, myself, and I. I don’t need anyone else to entertain me or keep me happy! I’m too busy living my life to regret not going steady with a guy.

I hope ya’ll have an amazing New Year whether you’re with friends, your partner, or just rocking it by yourself!

-EB