Saturday, January 9, 2016

This is Why We Didn't Match on Tinder

Of the many things I’m happy about in the new year, the decreasing stigma of online dating is high up on the list. Of the many apps and websites that promote meeting someone who you know have some common interests with you, Tinder is my drug of choice. Although there are a lot of hot, interesting guys I match with; there’s also a large selection of hot guys who don’t make the cut with me because of some very specific mistakes they make on their profiles.

Here are the inner working of my personal left wipe..

It was an accident and I hate myself. I’ve been swiping left so much that (even though I thought you were super cute) my fingers betrayed me and sent you off to a place I can’t follow. *sobs*

You’re smoking in one of your pictures. This is such a turnoff for me. I’ve kissed smokers before and it’s really not a pleasant experience for those of us who aren’t used to the taste of tobacco. I actually recommend anyone who smokes to somehow include that in their profile so I know to immediately swipe left. (this is definitely a personal preference, but it’s something that a lot of my friends agree on so I figured I’d include it.)

There’s nothing in your bio. I might be alone in this, but when I see that you couldn’t find a single thing to write about yourself I get really creeped out. I have swiped left on the hottest guys with the most amazing pictures because that blank section represents a person who is either too lazy to fill something out or just unable to write something about themselves. I don’t want to be involved with someone like that. Also, I get scared that you’re a serial killer, which is definitely a negative.

There’s no face pictures. Why aren’t you showing me your face mysterious cowboy with your hat turned down!? What secrets do you have mister motocross expert who’s wearing a helmet in everything?!

It’s only group shots. Don’t get me wrong, I love the look of a guy who goes out and has fun with his friends. However, if there are only group shots in your Tinder (with no clue as to which person you might be) then I will automatically assume you’ve got something to hide and you’re covering it up with a group of friends. If those shots are the only ones on Facebook that you have, I’d recommend pointing yourself out in your bio in order to end the confusion.

You’ve obviously cropped out a girl. I understand the frustration of only being able to include Facebook photos on your profile, but if the choice is between including your ex girlfriend in the picture and cropping her (along with half your arm) out, choose neither. Take a new picture, post it on Facebook, and then insert it on your Tinder profile. Weird ass pictures like that aren’t good for an app that’s based entirely on fleeting, first impressions.

Every other reason I swipe left just comes down to personal preference. You can’t do anything about just not being someone’s type. For example, I’m also not likely to swipe right on someone with hunting pictures, or only shirtless selfies. That’s not necessarily something you’re really doing wrong on Tinder, it’s just not gonna appeal to me.

Looking back on these, it’s obvious that I’m an incredibly picky Tinder user. I’m sure not everyone is like me, but if you want to cater to the picky ones then you should avoid all of these things. It’s really not that hard to write about yourself and take some fun pictures.

 I hope you all find what you’re looking for, whether it’s a soulmate or a one night stand! You do you!



  1. As someone whose never used the app, this is such an interesting read haha X

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    1. I honestly didn't realize how picky I was till I wrote this! I'm glad you found it interesting haha!