Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Wisdom From a Ginger Abroad

I'm in a giving mood today, and thought I'd share with you some wisdom I've accrued during my Istanbul study abroad experience. I hope you will gather these carefully selected nuggets of knowledge and use them in your own time.

When throwing jellyfish at your friends during your inevitable jellyfish war, always stay upwind. Also don't put too much force in your throw; it'll just tear them apart and then where are you at? Getting hit in the face with a jelly fish while your dreams of victory are blown away in a sticky mess is where.

Don't bother getting mad at someone who's late. In Turkey ten minutes late is actually five minutes early.

Playing country music is the best way to irritate your friends, both American and European.

When walking down the steepest fucking street in all of Istanbul in the pouring rain at 3 in the morning, do your best not to be drunk as fuck. Actually, scratch that. The drunker you are the less it will hurt when you eat shit

To get off and on the metro keep your shoulders low and your head up. Don't want a spinal injury when tackling people to the ground.

Always bring enough booze to share at a house party. Sharing is caring.

When eating always keep an eye out for stray cats hunting for food and snuggles. They'll take both by force if necessary.

Always keep an offline map available. This comes in handy when you get super drunk and decide to walk back to your apartment instead of taking a cab with everyone else, because you're stupid like that.

Slowing down in heavy traffic is for cowards.

There is no such thing as a secret in study abroad. Accept it now so you can gossip later. Just swallow your pride and be part of the problem.

As you can see, my experience in Turkey was truly beautiful, grandiose, and in no way involved any kind of random adventures that would lead one to, for example, throw globby animals at newly found friends. Nope...that definitely didn't happen...