Sunday, April 2, 2017

All Choices, Big and Small

Of the many ways Turkey changed me, the one that's been most apparent to me is how I'm more willing to experience the new. More importantly, to give the new a second chance. I bring it up because I'm sitting here, in this old-school coffee shop that's a hipster's wet dream, next to the man I've barely started dating, and drinking a coffee-ish beverage I don't entirely dislike. All of those things (okay maybe not the coffee shop but just let me have this one) belong in a category of my life I didn't think I'd achieve in the near future, if ever. Yet here I am.

This isn't a change many others have been able to notice mostly because I tended to put off a vibe of being into the new and ever-changing way of life. And to a certain point that's true. I did, after all, make the decision to fly across the world in the first place. The thing is, that's a biggie. I'm great at making those kinds of life-changing, massive choices that'll continue to affect my life for years. Taking out a large sum of money in loans, for example. Or going to an out-of-state college, away from all the friends and family I'd known in Nevada. Those were major transitions, but making the choice to try a dirty chai despite my hatred of coffee; that's not something I would have been able to do before. I would've stuck with my tea.

Honestly I would've stuck with a lot of things. I wouldn't have bought a new computer, I wouldn't have fixed my shitty front teeth, and I wouldn't be soaking up the happiness resulting from a certain boyfriend I'd like to be kissing right now. Admittedly that last one might end up being one of those big, life-changing decisions, but one thing that hasn't changed is my inability to soberly acknowledge the importance of the man I'm emotionally attached to. Don't worry, I'm working on it.

While I'm glad I've always been able to readily make a huge decision, these smaller changes to my daily routine are the ones I'm happiest about. The tiny things are what's shaping me into the person who makes those big choices, and so far that person has been kicking ass.

Hope you're all doing the same.


-E.B.