Thursday, December 31, 2015

Single & Not Even Trying to Mingle

I honestly can’t remember what it’s like to have a boyfriend. I haven’t been in a serious, committed, can’t breathe when your partner leaves you kind of relationship since high school. I did a brief stint with a guy in Tucson (we even made it facebook official) but it never felt real to me. I couldn’t even remember the date we got together! That’s something I still remember about my past boyfriends!

And I want to be very clear about this: I love being single.

 In no way do I think being single is some kind of sad, debilitating notion that people should struggle through till they find their special person at the end of this horrible single tunnel. No.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that if you can’t be happy by yourself then there’s no way someone can be happy with you. Anyone who chooses to be in an unhappy relationship just because they’re terrified of being alone with themselves have some truly deep, underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Being single is fucking fun!

I’m not a crazy party animal. I don’t go out every night, or even every weekend. But when I do, I have an amazing time! I dance, I enjoy myself, I flirt up a storm. Boys buy me drinks just because I smile at them. And I don’t have to feel guilty about any of it! There’s nothing holding me back, or drawing me away. I can actually live in the moment, and that’s something that’s incredibly important to me.

By far the hardest time to be single is during the holidays.

I think different types of people (in this case people in relationship and those of us who are on our lonesome) have it hard at different times in the year. During the summer there’s this rhetoric of living hard, being wild and free, enjoying yourself and enjoying whoever you want to enjoy. Winter is the ultimate time for couples though. All of a sudden the emphasis is on snuggling up with your lover while it snows outside. It’s on family and creating a family. It’s all about having someone to kiss on New Years. Getting caught up in that mindset is why people like me, who are better off single, find themselves in a bad relationship during winter just for the sake of being in a relationship. So I’m here to prevent myself and others from falling into that trap (again) by giving you some damn good perks of being single during the holidays.

Keep in mind these are told from a straight girl’s point of view, so you might have to tweek a few of them to fit your own lovely preferences..

Single men with beards!
They’re here! They’re everywhere! I looooove facial hair and the winter is when men are most likely to grown out their peach fuzz into an actual beard. Thank you, cold weather, for doing at least one thing that doesn’t make me miserable.

Free Drinks
I mentioned it before, a pretty, single girl at the bar is gonna get a few drinks bought for her. Just as long as you see them getting made and they’re not just brought over to you, go for it.

I’m one of those people that goes all out for presents for my boyfriends (or, you know, I was) I know it’s typically men who end up spending more on their ladies with dates and whatnot, but I like to pay every once in a while and then go big on gifts so they know I appreciate everything they do for me. Enter a long time period where I don’t need to do that and all of a sudden I have extra cash! (this actually doesn’t apply to me this year since I don’t have money anyways, but it’s nice to reminisce)

I love that I can go wherever I want and not have to be surrounded by close friends/boyfriends to enjoy myself. This means that when I am with my close friends (like I will be tonight!) I’ll be having the best time because if these weren’t the people I absolutely wanted to be with then I’d just be by myself!

Family Time
I’m sure it’s great to spend Christmas with your significant other, but I spent mine with my family. And again, I was able to be there 100%, with nothing pulling me away from them. There was lots of sitting around and drinking tea in front of the fire while we laughed at our cat stalk a packing peanut around the house.

Having a special someone to be in a relationship with is an amazing experience. However, I’m not in a rush to be sharing my life with anyone, and I honestly resent it when people assume I’m not happy by myself. I’m an interesting person and that’s what counts when it’s just me, myself, and I. I don’t need anyone else to entertain me or keep me happy! I’m too busy living my life to regret not going steady with a guy.

I hope ya’ll have an amazing New Year whether you’re with friends, your partner, or just rocking it by yourself!


Wednesday, December 30, 2015

How to Fix Your New Year's Resolutions!

Welp it’s getting to that lovely time of the year where we spend a night out with our friends, get a little (holy shit a lot) out of control, and then pretend everything’s gonna change for the better as soon as that big shiny ball drops and a new year begins.

Yeah, sure. If you say so I guess.

To those of you who’ve laid out this insanely long list of New Year’s Resolutions, who throw out that #newyear #newme bullshit, and who waited two whole months to decide to go to the gym instead of just going now; I have some spoilers: none of it will work. You’ve put too much pressure on yourself to completely turn your life around, and it’s not gonna happen cause that’s not how life works. And this is coming from someone who barely has two decades of experience under her belt (me!).

Story time: when I was 17 New Years kind of snuck up on me, and I basically forgot to make resolutions until the day of. It honestly didn’t cross my mind until a friend brought up hers. So when she asked me what my goals were for the year, I did a quick little assessment and thought “hmm, I kinda want whiter teeth. So I guess I won’t drink dark sodas anymore.”

And that was my goal. One thing. Pretty simple. Don’t drink dark soda.

And you know what, it’s been three years and I’ve basically cut soda out of my diet entirely. Sure, I splurge every now and then and get a Dr. Pepper (my dark soda kryptonite) when I go out to dinner; but for the most part it’s gone. And that didn’t happen initially. When I was 17 I was playing three sports all year long and every single away game ended up at a McDonald’s or a In-n-Out, and that meant every meal came with a soda. But I stuck with Sprite. And then a few months later when it was Softball season I decided to take it a step further and drink lemonade (I now realize that this wasn’t actually a healthier choice, but back then I thought it was so I’m calling it a win!) and finally it got to the point where I’d just ask for a water cup. Boom! Healthy and money saving!

That whole thing really made me reevaluate the way I make goals, so this is what I do now:

1.       I start with what I want (not just for this new year, but with life in general)

2.      I take that broad idea and I make two or three specific goals that can directly help me achieve that. (I decided now that I’m a sort of grownup I can handle three goals instead of just the one)

3.      I write them down. Not only does this help me remember them, it helps remind me when slip up (which I do…a lot)

4.      I give myself time to do them. I don’t force them all on myself at once. Baby steps!

5.      I do this multiple times a year. I should probably do it more often, but at the very least three times a year I give myself a look over and try to make a change for the better.

My friend James has a policy that he tries to live every day in a way that he can say when he lies back down at night, “I’m better than when I got up this morning”. James is also a priceless specimen of human awesomeness, which means I’m nowhere near this kind of level. Instead of thinking that way day to day, I try and apply it to my month and/or year. Because sometimes being absolutely perfect and goal oriented isn’t as much fun as going out on New Year’s Eve and making a shit ton of mistakes.

Basically what I’m saying is that goals are amazing and you should definitely look to improve yourself, but also cutting yourself some slack and improving in baby steps is a better option than expecting perfection and then quitting once you realize that’s not possible(seriously, going from living life on the couch to working out six times a week isn’t something you’ll be able to do. We can’t all be a James right away)

Have a spectacular New Year and feel free to drop a comment on how you keep your goals (like I said, only two decades of experience over here. Lots to work on!)


Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Breaking the Silence


Time to break my blogging silence by TOTALLY.NERDING.OUT!


If not, don’t worry. I’m not gonna spoil anything for you except for saying that it.was.AMAZING!!!!! And also anyone who’s hating on it is a total poop. I just saw it for the second time and it was everything I wanted it to be. Total package. The director and screen writers did an amazing job of bringing back the spirit of the original trilogy while also making it accessible to the new generation of badass nerds who are now Star Wars fans. I was so impressed with the character development of all the main characters, especially the villain. He was sooooo cool! I’ve already geeked out to all my friends about my new obsession with him. I know there’s been some hate towards the actor but I honestly thought he did a spectacular job!

Okay, I got that out of my system. I’ll be honest, I tried to make my first post back as a really nice statement on the holidays, and the importance of family, and all that nonsense; but it really wasn’t flowing. And as soon as I started writing about Star Wars my fingers were just flying. So, oops! Guess the sappiness will have to wait!

Instead, I’m gonna take you through everything I’m excited to read and/or watch over the next long while.

1.       ALL THE SUPERHERO MOVIES! It may not surprise you to know I’m absolutely obsessed with all movies/tv shows that involve a superhero. It started way back when with teenytiny Ellie geeking out over Smallville, and kinda mutated and grew from there. Here’s a taste of where my interests lie:
·         Batman vs Superman
·         Daredevil Season 2 on Netflix
·         Justice League
·         Captain America: Civil War
·         Thor: Ragnarok
·         X-Men Apocalypse
·         Wonder Woman
·         Deadpool
·         Suicide Squad
·         Doctor Strange
·         The Avengers
·         The Flash
·         I just realized I’ll never be able to finish this list and I should have just left it with ALL OF THEM.

2.      The Man In the High Castle My ma and I just started watching the Amazon series of this and it’s so good I’m just gonna have to snag it from my friend and read the original book by Phillip K. Dick. Basically it’s a “what if the Nazis won the war” dystopia kind of novel.

3.      The Jungle Book they’re making a live action version of it and the preview is amazing!!!! (I know I’m using that word to describe a lot of things, but it’s possible for a lot of things to be amazing so I’m sticking with it)

4.      Harry Potter and the Cursed Child/Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them Harry Potter will always be my favorite book series. It spanned my entire childhood and now JK Rowling has become the gift that keeps on giving!

5.      Dracula I’ve been reading this book for about a year now (thanks to college for getting in the way of that) and damnit, I’m gonna finish it soon! It’s an amazing horror read, and that’s coming from someone who generally doesn’t like the horror genre.

I’m honestly not the most diehard nerd ever (not even close), and there are some part of the culture that I’m not a huge fan of i.e the incredibly common objectification of women (thank you Star Wars for breaking the mold and showing a strong female lead in all the right ways). It’s still a world that I love being a part of and I’m SO EXCITED for all of the new releases that are coming our way!


Sunday, November 15, 2015

Thoughts for Beirut and Paris

What movie do ya’ll have that brings you straight back to childhood? Basically anything done by Disney will do it for me, but today it’s necessary to take it way back with an almost unreasonable amount of silliness and—dare I say—goofiness. For those of you who didn’t get that reference, it’s the Spongebob Squarepants Movie.
Sometimes it’s good to distract yourself from the world with a ridiculous story about a sponge and a starfish who go on an adventure to get a crown.

But now it’s time to end the distractions and face what happened. This week has been truly terrible. It’s hard to comprehend the kind of inhumanity required to take 172 lives in two days. In fact, it’s impossible. I hope Beirut and Paris can rise above the terrorism.

I also hope the world can take a moment to evaluate its reaction. I saw buildings all over many countries lit up in France’s colors. Our football team ran out with the French flag yesterday night before the game. Plenty of people, including me, took the option Facebook gave us to change our profile picture temporarily. I 100% believe that Paris deserves all the support we’re giving them. 129 of those lives were taken in Paris. But Beirut deserves attention too. I would’ve appreciated the option to support those lives by changing my profile picture to the Lebanese flag, and I know the people of Lebanon would’ve appreciated the SafetyCheck feature that was offered to Parisians to let them know their loved ones were safe.

I just want to reiterate what I’ve seen many people post—things that I was so happy to see all over my newsfeed! That the entire world is affected by terrorist groups, and that everyone—not just those in the west—matter.


Also know that donating money does much more good than donating items and blood!

Friday, November 6, 2015

Judgment at the Gym

Hey ya'll! It's been a while and I had a pretty good post planned for today. It was about managing a crazy schedule. I even had some cute pictures of my planner! But it’s gonna have to wait.

I had a fucking experience today in the gym, and it wasn’t a great one. I don’t have practice today but it’s important to stay limber on my off days so I went. I always warm up with a run on the treadmill and depending on how horrible I feel afterwards I’ll lift some heavy things.

This is how my workout went today:
1.      Ran my warmup mile
2.      Did my usual squats, lunges, biceps and triceps, random core things
3.      Got back on the treadmill for some more cardio when two guys walked into the gym. One looked at the other and said (this is a direct quote) “bitches and their treadmills”. 


Bitches and their treadmills?

 Is this a joke?

Let me tell you something you misogynistic, judgmental, fuckface. Have you been here the last hour? Do you know what kind of shit I’m putting my body through? Of course not! You weren’t there! You have no idea what my body needs. So fuck off!

There are three reasons this kind of statement really irritates me.
For one, it’s very pretentious to lump an entire group of anyone together. I’m aware that women tend to drift towards the cardio equipment. Sometimes it’s for silly reasons like being intimidated by the machines (I’ve been there. Once you do it the first time and look at the directions it loses the scariness) and sometimes it’s because they like the way cardio makes them look and feel, and sometimes—like with me—we’re just in the middle of a workout that’s taking us all over the gym. Either way, you can’t know what it is unless you’re in their heads.

Secondly, is it really this guy’s business if I am the type of “bitch” who is always running on a treadmill? Why should he care that I spend my time running my ass off? Have you ever spent an hour on the treadmill?! I have (once). And it killed me. Running is such a good workout for you. It’s a full body exercise and there’s nothing wrong with sticking with it. My personality type just has an aversion to doing the same thing constantly, plus rugby is a sport that requires weight lifting. That doesn’t mean I judge other people for what they do. It’s their body for fuck’s sake.

And finally, who the fuck says something like that!? Even if you have all those terrible, judgy thoughts, it’s not necessary to spit them into the world and poison the rest of us with them. Also, I’m aware that the only reason this lovely individual said that shit out loud in the first place is because my headphones were in and he didn’t realize I was between songs. It was just a mean thing to say and I don’t see why it was necessary at all. It really showed a general lack of respect, especially towards us bitches.

I know I’ve been away for a while, and I’m sorry my first post was loaded with so many fuck bombs but this was something I really had to get off my chest. At least that jerk gave me a second wind of anger to make it through that last mile!

Monday, October 5, 2015

Take A Soul Day

There’s something I haven’t been able to do since I got back to Tucson, and to be honest it’s starting to wear me down.

I haven’t had a soul day.

It’s a day I can take entirely for myself, doing whatever I want to do in whatever relaxing spot I want to do it in. It’s something that I think every person needs every once in a while. You know, treat yo’self J

And in case you’re wondering, lying in bed all day with a hangover (even if you don’t do anything productive) does not count. Soul days are deliberate! They’re for soul recuperation, not for accidentally sleeping all day. Purposefully sleeping all day; that’s a soul day.

I have a few criteria to make a perfect soul day:

It’s gotta feel like a vacation. For me, this means I have to go somewhere. Not very far, just somewhere further than my apartment complex (which actually does have an amazing, relaxing pool. It’s just not good enough for a full on soul day.)

It’s gotta be beautiful. I need something pretty to look at, because the whole point of my soul days is I’m not doing anything. I’m just sitting and watching. It’s ridiculously relaxing to look at a beautiful scene and just soak it in.

It’s gotta have good food. I don’t really need to explain this, right?

Back home my perfect place to go is Lake Tahoe. It's a spot that meets all my standards and is constantly recharging my soul. I go there with friends, with my family, and by myself. Just thinking about it right now makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, though that’s possibly because I’m catching a cold and just downed a couple gulps of cough syrup.

It’s really important for everyone to find their own version of a soul day. Taking care of your body is all well and good, but it’s not worth it if you can’t be happy too.

So the new goal is to find that kind of spot in Tucson. Anyone with ideas?? Got a cool spot you’d like to share? I’d love to hear any and all suggestions!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

My Body Health

So right now I’m sitting on a yoga mat with a bag of ice on my shoulder and every once in a while I switch it over to my knee. It’s actually hurting so bad that the pressure of the ice is making it sting. No Bueno.

I want to talk to ya’ll about taking care of your body. I don’t think life is worth it if you’re not body happy and soul happy. Notice also the words I’m using here: body healthy. Body happy. Not thin, not strong, not fat, not jiggly, not firm; HEALTHY. That’s gonna be a different standard for every single person who reads this, I’m just letting you know what it means to me and how I (sometimes) achieve it.

So let’s talk about body health. That means a different thing for me now that I’ve started rugby. It doesn’t always mean I’m at my best, it just means I’ll work towards my best as often as I can. Here’s how I do it:

The three basics that help everyone are these:

  1.   Drink a shit ton of water. Seriously, it’s a good thing if you’re constantly peeing. And don’t just chug a glass and think you’re good. DRINK IT. IN SIPS. OVER THE COURSE OF THE DAY. Seriously, all you have to do is run a google search to know that drinking water has a ridiculous amount of health benefits, and it’s so easy to get. Just do it.
  2. SLEEP! This is a difficult one for me for two reasons. One, I’m a college student and I have homework that I enjoy putting off till the last minute. This means a lot of stressed out late night. Two, I’m rooming with three freshman girls who party constantly. At first I was thinking it would be nice to hang out with them and get super close so we could all be besties. I’m now calling myself out on that bullshit. If I have to change something, even just a little thing like my sleep schedule, to get close with a person, then they aren’t really worth getting close with in the first place. That’s a very stubborn view, I know. But that’s how I feel. Take me or leave me, just don’t keep me up till 2 AM on a school night.
  3.    Eat. I’m not even gonna go into how you should eat (right now) just as long as you’re eating at least three meals a day with a couple snacks thrown in. Starving yourself is terrible! Even if it’s not full blown anorexia and you just don’t have time for breakfast, you’re hurting your body. Stop it. Also, if you do have an eating disorder, I am 100% supportive of you to find help wherever you can. Ignore the stigma and the assholes who will judge you for a disease you can’t help having and tell someone. There’s always a person willing to help, including me if it comes down to it.
So now you know the basics and I can stop writing!

Ha, no of course not. 
Those are the little things that work for everybody. Seeing as this is a blog about me, I think I’ll go into greater detail of how I keep me, myself, and my body healthy. Maybe some of you can relate!

I push myself. I’m a competitive person. So when I’m at practice, or at weights, or just at the yoga practice I go to sometimes I’m constantly striving to be better. To hold that pose longer. To keep up with Tina, who is an absolute running machine. To see my muscles grow. I’m not forcing myself to do something I don’t enjoy, it’s just how I am.

I try to avoid guilt. This one’s tough, and I actually didn’t succeed today. But I’ll be better tomorrow! I won’t beat myself up for eating a toaster strudel (good god they’re delicious).

I make at least one healthy decision per day. Foodwise, I mean. Even if it’s at a place like Chipotle where it’s sort of impossible to be truly healthy, I make my order as healthy as it possibly can be. I force myself to eat spinach at home (and then move on the good stuff). It’s not always pretty, but it’s worth it when you really start to feel good.

I take vitamins. Currently I’m taking fish oil, vitamin C, biotin, and B12 supplements. When you’re pushing yourself as hard as is required in rugby you need the extra push. And no I’m not talking about steroids! I’m literally wearing down my body with all the running and tackling that we do. So the vitamins help build it back up. I actually wish I could take more but I’m a little broke right now.

I listen to my body. The other week I strained my quad. I knew something was close to snapping but I pushed myself anyways. Then I couldn’t practice for a week. That sucked more than how I would’ve felt just taking it easy for a practice and having a good stretch that night. That’s what I’m doing to my shoulder right now. It’s telling me that somethings close to breaking, so I’m icing the hell out of it and giving it some good stretches. It’ll get better.

I destress. There’s a lot of ways I do this. There’s a packet of semi-sweet chocolate chips in my freezer that gets dipped into every once in a while. I watch Netflix (current obsession is the Blacklist). The newest and so far best de-stresser in my life is the yoga practice I go to at the U of A rec. There’s something so invig
orating about a 12 o’clock yoga class. I can’t begin to describe how content I feel after walking out of that room.

This was a pretty long post and I really appreciate you sticking it out with me. I know I wasn’t very good about posting this last week, but I’m back in a big way! If nothing else is happening on the blog you can always feel free to follow my on Instagram and Twitter!

How do you keep your body healthy?

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Rant Time: Roommate Edition

Time for a good old fashioned rant.

It’s always a little awkward with new roommates. Three roommates who already know each other and you’re the odd man out? That’s fucking ridiculous. It’s also the situation I’m in right now.

So when that shit happens it’s important to keep things open and honest. The key ingredient of any drama is secrecy, or even just a lack of communication. I know that. I actually thought it was a general knowledge! So it pisses me off when I walk in a room and am figuratively shit on by a roommate.

The thing is, I’m not a clean person. I know this. The people I lived with before know this. My main problem is I don’t immediately wash my dishes. Don’t get me wrong, I always do them. It’s just not a right-after-I-eat kind of thing. And this bothers my roommates.

Now I’m not saying that messiness isn’t something worth getting upset over. It’s not something that bothers me but that doesn’t mean I don’t see why it bothers others. What does and is bothering me is I wasn’t told anything until tonight. And really, “told” isn’t the right word. Yelled at; that’s more accurate. I really, really don’t like being yelled at, especially when I was unaware I was causing any friction to begin with.

So here’s what I would like to say to my roommates:

If I do something you don’t like, then FUCKING TELL ME. I don’t read minds. If I don’t know I’m doing something you don’t like then I can’t fucking change what you don’t like you dumbass. Seriously, how stupid do you have to be to just complain to each other about someone who lives ten feet away?! I get that we don’t know each other that well, but it’s obvious to a lot of others that I’m a friendly person. If you come to me and we have a conversation about what’s bugging you then we’ll both come out on the other side just fine. Instead ya’ll just decided to bitch and bottle it up when I’m around until the pressure got so intense you blow up in my face! I don’t fucking appreciate the lack of courtesy that takes. I hate it a lot more than you hate coming home to a goddamn dirty kitchen.

Of course I can’t actually say that. I have manners. And no, I’m not a total hypocrite by complaining about my roommates who complain about me. I told them the polite version of the previous paragraph; that I’d appreciate being told about anything that bothers them, especially before they bottle it up and things get messy.

I’m really hoping this is just a one time awkwardness. I’ve already done the shitty roommate situation and it’s not a fun time. One of the reasons why I like open conversations and communication is because I hate angry confrontations. I’m honestly a pretty sensitive person so someone being vicious towards me either makes me incredibly, thought-blocking angry; or it sends me in a downward spiral. Tonight it was the latter, and it’s not a way I like to end my day.
I hope all ya’ll are having a better Sunday than I am.


What’s your best/worst experience with roommates?

Saturday, September 19, 2015

My Money Goals

Fuck it’s been a busy week. I’ve barely had time to think, so my new and improved schedule went straight out the window. Rugby, school, and looking for a job have me running around like a chicken with my head cut off. And honestly that’s not a bad thing, it’s just taking some getting used to.

Today I want to talk about something that’s definitely on a lot of people’s minds. I hate to think about it, but I’ve got a lot of money issues. I’m paying for my own rent with my savings because I have yet to find a job and rugby dues are coming up. Unfortunately there’s an extra dose of reality when you join a club sport in college: nothing’s for free.

The thing is, if you want to be really good at a sport you have to eat right and take a shit ton of vitamin supplements. Unfortunately a single bunch of spinach costs the same as six packs of ramen, so you can understand the struggle there. I didn’t think vitamins would be such a necessary thing, but the longer I play the more I realize I need them. Rugby is a much tougher sport than anything I’ve ever played, on the field and on my body. It’s full contact with a lot of running; that’s the kind of thing that kills your joints. So in comes these programs for weight loss, getting lean, and supporting my body in general but I.can’ It’s starting to get frustrating.

Here are my new money goals for the rest of the semester:

Get a job. I really can’t emphasize enough how desperate I am for employment. And it’s not like I’m not looking. I’ve got a few places lined up, but they’re taking their sweet time with the interview process. One of them, a local pizza place, is saying I might be able to start next week. Till then I’ll keep on looking.

Save as much as possible! I’m gonna take out enough of my paycheck to pay rent and save the rest. All my other spending is gonna have to come from tips. I think I can make it work.

Buy for quality. I could easily spend a small amount of money on a huge amount of ramen. It makes sense economically. But I’m not just looking to save money. You can’t be healthy in your body that way, and you definitely can’t be healthy in your soul. Everybody needs some soul food, and ramen doesn’t cut it. So when I do spend money, it’s gonna be on the good stuff.

Keep on moving on. I’m a big believer in pushing through and finding the good in bad situations. In fact, right now my life is a few blips of bad in a great situation, so there’s no reason to ruin things by focusing too hard on insignificant details. I’m doing what I can to get some income. No need to worry.

So for the rest of you going through rough financial times like me (which, let’s be honest, isn’t even close to being as bad as millions of Americans have it) just know that this too shall pass. We’ve got this.

Any advice on how to increase my savings?

Friday, September 11, 2015

One New Thing

I did a thing!

I have a goal that every week I’ll do something new, and this week was a total success! It’s kind of freaky doing anything different, even for someone like me who thrives on the feeling of variety. But I started it and that’s the important thing.

I think this is gonna sound weird to some of you because it’s not a very common thing I did: I joined the Arizona rugby team!

Yup, a rugby team. I joined a sport that I’ve never played before and I honestly wasn’t sure that we had a women’s rugby team on campus until I passed by a booth and a girl told me to show up to an info session.

So I was pretty nervous about showing up to practice. There are a bunch of rookies, so that made me feel a little less out of my depth. It’s not like rugby is a common sport in high schools across America. But I walked onto the pitch (that’s what they call the field) and I had The thing is, I was so involved in my high school! I played volleyball, softball, and basketball; was the captain of the academic Olympics team, student body president, and sang with the choir. I went from doing all that to nothing in college. I was sort of in a couple clubs but I didn’t feel a very strong connection with anyone. And it wasn’t until I was out there on the pitch, running around with a funny shaped ball, and working my ass off that I realized how much I missed being part of a team. I missed that feeling of comradery you get with a group of girls who are all interested in the same thing as you. It was a huge part of my life and I didn’t know how much of a hole it left me when I gave up on that.
But now I’m filling it! I could’ve joined something I was familiar with like basketball or volleyball, but this way I can expand my horizons a little more and do something unique! How many people can say they just up and joined a club rugby team?! It’s gonna be great. I can feel it.


What have ya’ll done that’s new and exciting this week?

Thursday, September 10, 2015

I Like My Butt

I have a few insecurities about my body. Logically, I know they’re bullshit and I’m hot, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling them. One of the things I very rarely have a bad thought about is (you already know where I’m going with this) my ass!

My ass is straight up awesome. I fill out my jeans. Squats aren’t necessary to make it pop (though they totally help out). The men in my life have told me multiple times how great it is. This all adds up to something I figured out my freshman year of high school: I got myself a moneymaker!
As much as I’d love to spend an entire post talking about how amazing my booty is; that’s not my main point. Here’s what I’m really here to say:

There’s nothing wrong with telling people how amazing you are.

I repeat; NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! Of course the first step is simply knowing in your heart that there’s something (lots of things) great about you. That’s how I started off. I had to acknowledge that I’m beautiful. A hundred people could’ve told me that I had a nice butt and it wouldn’t have mattered until I said it myself.

Now don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not saying I go around ass first and tell people constantly how great it is. That would be ridiculously weird and there's a difference between confident and braggy. What I’m saying is when someone compliments me on how I look, my response is “Thank you.” I don’t immediately switch into self-deprecating mode. I accept the compliment and know it’s true. I don’t put myself down, which is something I feel way too many people do. It’s some kind of strange self-defense mechanism that kicks in when we’re not totally sure of ourselves. I used to be the girl who apologized for everything I did, who didn’t think I was as pretty as the skinnier or curvier girls, who relied on other people for confidence.

I’m not that girl anymore. And I hope it takes everyone a lot less time than it took me to get to this point of confidence and independence. It’s really important to be able to admit your upstanding points. We can have flaws and still acknowledge that we’re beautiful people. The two aren’t mutually exclusive!

Anywho, this post got real cheesy real quick, but I’m gonna stand by it. Having the ability to say how amazing you are in any number of ways will be helpful in every aspect of your life. The people around you will appreciate it, job interviewers will be impressed, and you won’t be dragging yourself down. Trust me, it’s a good feeling.


What’s something amazing about your body? Personality? In general?

Sunday, September 6, 2015

A Random Post: Taylor Mali (my teacher spirit animal)

This man has influenced and inspired me in so many ways. It truly blows my mind the kind of passion he puts into his poetry and his need to spread the good word about teaching. If you ever feel the need to ask a teacher what they make, I suggest you watch this video:

This is the poem that flung away any doubts I had about becoming a teacher. Senior year of high school, when I was making the final decision of where to go to school and was debating on someplace other than Arizona and its amazing teaching program; that's when I needed to hear this. And I did! I made the right decision and I'm on this path now. 

So thanks Taylor Mali, I owe you one.


Saturday, September 5, 2015

One Month In!

I've been blogging for exactly a monthish now! Not only do I feel like I'm doing better than my first attempt, I have proof! Those 8 people following me on Bloglovin' are eight more than I had before! I know, intimidating numbers right?

I'm really liking where my blogs headed so far and I'm happy with the responses I'm getting! My numbers are small right now, but time will take care of that, and for now I'm just focusing on being myself and saying what's on my mind.

To improve your and my experience with all this, I've got a new schedule I'll be sticking to! At least, I'll stick to it as best I can. Being slightly flighty doesn't go hand in hand with sticking to a deadline.

Here's my plan!

Saturdays and Wednesdays will be for my regular ramblings/rants/thoughts/anything that I decide is interesting to write about. Fridays will be for something a little different. I've decided to try something new out at least once a week. I'll be going to events, hanging out with new people, or even seeing a movie. Anything new and exciting will work! And once I experience it, I'll share it with everyone!

We'll see how well I can stick with all this, but I think it's important to try!

What do ya'll do to keep a schedule? Help me out!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

The Dream Job

Last week I took my first education class! It’s a big deal for me because the last two years of school have basically been focused on politics and gen eds. I think Government and history are really interesting and important, but I also hate monotony. When the only thing breaking up my day of political parties and history of Islam is a huge lecture class that I don’t really want to take anyways, I go a little crazy. Now that I’m past that, the only classes I’m taking right now are the ones that I want to!

One of those classes is my Intro to the Teaching Profession. It’s very quickly becoming one of the most interesting and best classes I’ve ever been in, but when I tell people about it I usually get one of two responses. One, they’re really happy for me and interested in what I’m saying or two, the conversation is immediately sidetracked by some form of the statement, “Wow, you want to teach. That’s pretty crazy. I’d never be able to handle that.”

I’ve had the idea in my head of being a teacher since I was little. It was mixed in with my dreams of being a scientist, a princess, and a professional basketball player; but it was there! It wasn’t until I was a junior in high school that the idea really solidified into a goal. I was coaching a couple middle schoolers on how to control where they bumped a volleyball when I realized that I could do this. I could coach a team and be a teacher in the classroom; and I could be happy doing that. I think anyone who’s happy with their career can look back and see the moment when they realized they could actually achieve it.

But there’s still this huge group of people who think I’m batshit crazy for considering it! Especially since I want to teach highschoolers!

So, for the convenience of anyone who would like to question my sanity, here’s why I want to teach

Honestly, I want my summers. I have other dreams. I want to travel.  I want to spend an entire day reading a book I love. I want to enjoy the heat outside of an office. Being a teacher will give me a month of freedom to enjoy myself however I want (yes it’s a month if I’m lucky. The rest of summer is spent preparing for the school year). Summers are good for the soul.

I want to inspire someone. I’m going to teach these kids about government and history. These aren’t the most inspiring subjects, but I know I can do it. If a child takes my class then they’ll walk out of there knowing they can change the world. They’ll know why it’s important to follow politics and they’ll know they can do something about the fucked upness that exists out there.

I value my time more than I value a big paycheck. I’ve never dreamed of owning a big house on a hill. I don’t need a bunch of rooms and a bunch of stuff. It’s just never interested me. As long as I’m comfortable (which isn’t a high bar) then I’m happy. I can spend my time helping people instead of joining the rat race to make a few extra dollars.

I want to provide a safe space. I’m aware that there are some shitty parents out there. It’s not something I’m happy about, and there’s not much I can do about it except give a child a place where they can work hard and learn without looking over their shoulders. As long as there’s one place in their lives where this is possible, then I’ll be happy.

I like teenagers. They’re funny! They’re a little kooky! They’re doing their best to figure out who they are in life and I’m gonna get a front row seat! I might even be able to set a good example of who they want to be, or maybe hand out some critical advice. Either way, I enjoy spending time with those crazy fucks. It’s fun!

I think what irritates me most about people who criticize my path in life is they think their opinion is relevant. If you couldn’t handle highschoolers and would hate to teach, then fucking don’t! I, however, think I’m gonna be great at it.

 I can’t wait to make a difference and the further along I get the more convinced I am that this is what I want to do with my life.

What’s your opinion of teachers? Leave a comment and we’ll talk about it! There’s a very real discussion that needs to happen on the pros and cons of teaching!

Friday, August 28, 2015

Surviving the 1st Week of Classes

The first week of class is officially over! This is my 3rd year at the University of Arizona and I’d like to think I’ve learned a couple things in my time here. The 1st week has always been fun for me because there’s so much anticipation. Everything is brand new and sparkly, and I temporarily forget how incredibly stressful the next four months will be. That doesn’t last too long but I’ll be damned if I let myself ruin the 1st week by worrying.

To help ya’ll reach the same healthy state of mind, I’ve got a list of tips that’ll make the 1st week easier.

Don’t buy books beforehand. Seriously, don’t do it. They’re not necessary for the first week. Also, avoid the official bookstore if you can. There are a bunch of websites that offer discounted and even free books!

Go to office hours!!! This one is really important. A lot of people say you should introduce yourself to the professor after the 1st lecture. Don’t do this. Everyone’s heard this advice and you end up in this awkward line where the professor remembers nothing but a row of faces. Showing up at office hours shows that you care enough to take time out of your day to introduce yourself. It leaves a much better impression.

Make a good impression. Dress up. Do your hair. Look your best. I love knowing I look good. Starting off the semester on a high note is incredibly important. It sets the tone for the year! Do it right!

Talk to people! I’m still working on this. I get a little quiet when I’m in new situations, but some of the best friends I’ve made here have started with a hello in a class.

Don’t feel bad about slipping on workouts. It’s a busy week, and there’s a lot going on. Do what you can and feel good about it!

And most importantly…

Get involved! I was too busy being overwhelmed my freshman year to actually become active in the community. I got it together my sophomore year and joined a couple clubs, but even that wasn’t good enough. So this year I’m determined to do everything I can! It’s important to give yourself a support base of strong friends, and it’s hard to do that if you don’t go out and meet people.

I’m on my last two years here, and time seems to be going crazy fast. Hopefully I can take some of my own advice and make the best of my college career. 

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Hey There Tucson

It finally happened! I had my summer fun, said the hard goodbyes, and now I’m back in Tucson where I belong (for nowJ). I love that nervous rush I get when I’m starting a new adventure. It makes me feel like I’m living life right; meeting new people, moving into a new place, and experiencing all the new feels! There’s nothing like it.

Now that I’m here the hard work begins. The first steps I take now will set the tone for the entire year! So I’m gonna get on it. 

Here’s what my goals are for the last days of August:

Decorate the apartment. This is where I’ll spend so much of my time this semester and it’s incredibly important to make it feel like home. These white walls are a little too sterile for me so I’m gonna pin up some sarongs, steal some paint squares from Home Depot and print out a bunch of pictures!

Get close with the new roomies. The most important part of making a place feel like home is having a family. I didn’t have the greatest experience with my roommates last year and I’m determined to make this semester better.

Get back in touch with the old friends. Good lord I missed those fuckers. One in particular is my person and I can’t wait to wrap him up in a big ole hug.

Foooood! Is there anything more depressing than an empty fridge? Probably, but not to someone as hungry as I am.

Get a job. The thing about food, gas, food, rent, food, and college is they cost money. Hence the need for a job.

Enjoy the new classes. The major plus of being a junior in college is I’ve moved through all my gen eds and am finally getting to the good stuff. Classes I chose myself and am very excited about.

HAVE FUN! It’s important to have a plan going in, but I always consider my plans more of guidelines. Something new and unexpected will always pop up and there are zero things wrong with that. Whatever parties I’m invited to, whoever new shows up and wants a friend, I’ll roll with it and enjoy the process

What are your first priorities when you move somewhere new??

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Stress-Beating Strategies

Earlier today I posted about the kinds of things that stressed me out. Some of them, anyways. I didn’t even start to cover insecurities about my college life, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I mentioned my worries, but I didn’t go into a lot of detail about how I break out of that mode and get back to myself—my happy, positive self.

I have a few different strategies, and I use them all in different situations depending on just how low my self-esteem has sunk. I hope some of them come in handy for those of you who occasionally struggle to remember how fucking amazing you really are.

Take some extra time to get ready. When I wake up in a bad mood and know I’ll be self-hating all day I try to nip it in the bud as quick as I can. I make sure to take a long shower, do my makeup extra nice, and cook myself a good breakfast. I wash away the negativity with anything that can be good in a morning.

Lay on some tough love. This is for when I’ve been in a mild funk for a long period of time. I look in the mirror and tell myself, “Enough. You’re beautiful and it’s time to accept that. Now pull yourself together.” I can’t do this for anything worse than being sort of down. There’s a fine line between tough love and verbally abusing myself.

Exercise. I don’t mean I take a light run and feel better. I work.the.fuck.out. I play the most intense, badass playlist I can find on Spotify—something that makes me feel out of control angry—and I go hard in the gym. I’ll spend two hours in there running, lifting, stretching, anything that gets my blood pumping and my muscles crying. If I can walk a straight line when I get out of there, I didn’t go hard enough.

Take a breath. A really deep one. The best advice I ever got when I was going through a rough time was “Keep breathing.”

Have a cry session. Sometimes I reach the point of no return. I find a private spot and I let the tears flow free. It’s really therapeutic when I stop bottling everything up and let it loose.

Ask for help. I hate the mindset that anyone who asks for help is weak. I’m guilty of this sometimes and I need to stop. There’s nothing wrong with going to a friend and letting them help you out of a worry hole. Even if they just listen to you vent or give a good hug, let them be the good friend they are and help you out!

These work for me, but everyone has different needs at different times. I think an important moment for me is realizing what kind of mood I’m in and knowing that (if it’s bad) I shouldn’t take myself seriously and it’s time to employ any number of these tactics. That way I can return to actually being me J

What do you do to beat stressing out? Leave a comment!

Some Days I Worry

Have you ever felt that it shouldn’t take as much energy as it does to keep you happy? I feel that way a lot. My life is pretty damn good, I have loving parents, and I’m out working towards my goals; so why should I have to force myself to look on the bright side of things? Does that make me selfish?

I guess no matter how great things are, I know there’s always something I could be doing to make it better. I have high expectations for myself I guess. I could work harder, do more for others, be less of a mess. Sometimes the things I love about myself turn around and become what I’m most critical of. I hate it when that happens, but I’m human and things aren’t always sparkles and rainbows for me.

I made a list of all the fears and worries I have (rational and irrational) that keep me up some nights when I should be sleeping in a happy bliss.

I’m alone.

I’m not super skinny.

I’m not as smart as I think I am.

I’m too lazy to be truly good at anything.

I’m a disappointment.

I won’t make new friends.

I’ll hate wherever I work.

I’ll fail.

I don’t have a good body.

I’m not good enough.

These are just ten of my worries, but they eat at me sometimes, usually when I’m at my most vulnerable. Logically, I know I’m a good person. I’m smart, I love my body, and I have a great personality. The problem is, negative thoughts only attract more negative. When I get into this mode it takes an incredibly amount of effort to remember anything good about myself.

But I do put in that effort. I drag myself out of the dumps and focus on everything positive. Sometimes I have to keep repeating it to myself over and over, just to fill my head with something nice. I have to remind myself that I don’t want to be super skinny and lose my killer ass. I enjoy having my alone time. And the rest is just false. I believe it doesn’t matter how far you fall as long as you can bounce back, so that’s what I try to do.

Do you connect with any of these worries? Comment any thoughts!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Awkward and Okay With It

I am awkward as fuck. I know because I’ve been told this on multiple occasions. I think it’s one of the side effects of growing up with parents who accepted every phase of my life with love and support, even when I had weird curly side bangs and listened to Nickelback.

People are quick to see my fun, derpy side because I never learned to hide it. By the time it hit me that not everyone is weird it was too late. I’d already let that love and encouragement provided by my parents and friends turn me into the awkward person I am today. For that, I’m incredibly grateful. Some of my classmates figured out that there’s a certain type of person society tells us is normal. They put a lot of effort into making themselves that person and I hated watching it. They were so stiff and constantly worrying about their level of perfection that they forgot to enjoy the moment they were living in.

I’m not saying I never went through those years of self consciousness and horror known as puberty. You can actually see the moment it happened in my school pictures. I went from a beaming, and I.Mean.Beaming kid who’s just happy to be there to a fearful girl-child who thought smiling with her teeth made her look funky. I’m glad I got out of that frame of mind as quick as I could, because there are so many amazing things about being awkward and goofy and a total nerd!

For instance…

I’m always memorable. Weirdos stand out and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. No one ever said “hey remember that girl who looked and acted like everyone else?”

There’s no pressure to impress people. Those amazing people who can appreciate my awkwardness will be appreciated right back. Others can kindly fuck off.

No deciding when to show the man in my life how weird I actually am. He’ll know as soon as I walk in the door.

I know how to enjoy myself without the approval of anyone but me.

All of this because I’ve (for the most part) stopped caring what others think of my personality. What others think of you is none of your damn business. People will think what they think and I can either spend my time worrying about that or I can get over it.

My point is, it’s important to be you. Some people just aren’t awkward; they’re cool and collected and have great personalities too! It’s when awkwardness is squished down for the sake of fitting in that I get riled up. Don’t do that. If you’re an awkward person, don’t just deal with it. Be better! Run with it! Sometimes I make situations awkward just for funsies! Sometimes (all the time) it just happens and all I can do is enjoy the ride.


What’s the most awkward situation you’ve ever been in?

My Punk Gallery Experience

I have a finite understanding of punk rock. I’ve heard some Greenday songs I liked, a few from the Clash, and the Sex Pistols are pretty good. Last night I had my understanding expanded by this amazing exhibit at the Holland Project in Reno. I’ve never been to this particular art gallery, but now that I’ve experienced it I want to go back as often as I can because this place is great. It’s this small building right in midtown Reno that brought an incredible amount of character to the exhibit.

There were a few different photographers featured who were right in the middle of the 80’s punk scene documenting how it came to be this dominating force in Reno. One of them is a close friend of my family’s, which was why I went in the first place. Not only were his photos up close, gritty, and very well done; they did a great job of showing the bands’ personalities. I could actually see how much effort the guitarist of the Thrusting Squirters (great name, I know) was putting into the music.

The photos were great, but what really made me feel connected to this entire movement was this collection of letters and doodles sent across the country by these bands. It’s really personal to read, and good god some of them could use a spelling lesson. Reading them brought me back to that feeling when I was little that no one could understand me, that things weren’t going right but at least I could hang out with my friends and we’d all be misunderstood together. Later I figured out that’s what it means to be a teenager, but at the time it was emotionally exhausting. I worked through my angst a little differently than those kids who got so angry and could only express it by screaming into a microphone, but I kind of like their style.

These singers lived hard and very different lives from me, which is why I’m so impressed with the Holland Project’s ability to connect me to them. I think anyone who’s gone through any sort of emotional upheaval against anything; be it work, or society, or just your parents, should come check it out.


What’s your opinion on Punk Rock? Good? Bad? Never heard of it? Let me know in the comments!

Friday, August 14, 2015

The Highs and Lows of Rocking Red Hair

Being a ginger has a lovely amount of highs and a not so lovely amount of lows. I’ve had this wild red hair since I was a wild little kid, and I honestly believe it has helped shape my personality. Those of us who have to struggle with the idea that our beauty doesn’t come in the same shape/size/look as what the media says it should be came out on the other side a little bit tougher. I personally made it through with a lot more confidence than many girls and women my age. So despite the various lows that come with having the sun on my head, it’s been a pretty great ride.

The majority of the lows that accompany my hair aren’t actually about my hair at all. They’re about everyone and their mother’s comments on my hair. Because everyone, and I mean everyone, has something to say about it.

“Oh god I’d hate to be a ginger” Yes someone actually said this to a teenage me. No, I didn’t slap them.

“It’s so pretty! But I wouldn’t want it.” Oh darn, I was totally gonna chop it off and give it to you *insert eye roll*

“Has anyone ever said you look like Brave?!” Firstly, her name’s Merida. Secondly, of course they have! We’re fucking twins! (This one isn’t irritating by itself, but the quantity I’ve received from every.single.person I’ve met has worn off the charm of being compared to a Disney princess.)

“I bet you’re a firecracker/have a temper/are feisty” Golly, I just looove it when people make assumptions on my personality based on my appearance.

These are all things anyone with a basic sense of manners would know not to say, but unfortunately there are those who don’t seem to have this sense. I do my best to respond politely with a smile and move on as quickly as possible. I’m a firm believer in rolling with the punches. These people are in my life for a total of ten seconds and there’s no point in letting a moment that small ruin my day.

The perks last much longer and have a greater impact on my life.

I’m used to having eyes on me, so making presentations or just being in a public space doesn’t cause a lot of anxiety. Thumbs up for that one!

I’m unique! There’s no one out there with hair exactly like mine and I love it. People actually destroy their hair trying to get it like mine. It’s a blessing to have it naturally.

I’m not easily forgettable, and in life that’s exactly what I need to be. I want to make an impact and I can do that from the very start of any journey I take because no one forgets meeting this ginger J

Confidence isn’t as common as I’d like it to be. Our entire media culture is based on the idea that you’re not good enough, and I don’t want to be brainwashed into thinking I should change myself in order to fit in the mold. I like my hair and I want everyone to like theirs too. In fact, go a little further and just like all of yourself.


Who am I kidding, it’s awesome being compared to a Disney princess. This is me officially taking it off the cons list. Thank you to anyone who’s ever compared me to Merida, she’s legit! I love it!