Thursday, December 31, 2015

Single & Not Even Trying to Mingle

I honestly can’t remember what it’s like to have a boyfriend. I haven’t been in a serious, committed, can’t breathe when your partner leaves you kind of relationship since high school. I did a brief stint with a guy in Tucson (we even made it facebook official) but it never felt real to me. I couldn’t even remember the date we got together! That’s something I still remember about my past boyfriends!

And I want to be very clear about this: I love being single.

 In no way do I think being single is some kind of sad, debilitating notion that people should struggle through till they find their special person at the end of this horrible single tunnel. No.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that if you can’t be happy by yourself then there’s no way someone can be happy with you. Anyone who chooses to be in an unhappy relationship just because they’re terrified of being alone with themselves have some truly deep, underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Being single is fucking fun!

I’m not a crazy party animal. I don’t go out every night, or even every weekend. But when I do, I have an amazing time! I dance, I enjoy myself, I flirt up a storm. Boys buy me drinks just because I smile at them. And I don’t have to feel guilty about any of it! There’s nothing holding me back, or drawing me away. I can actually live in the moment, and that’s something that’s incredibly important to me.

By far the hardest time to be single is during the holidays.

I think different types of people (in this case people in relationship and those of us who are on our lonesome) have it hard at different times in the year. During the summer there’s this rhetoric of living hard, being wild and free, enjoying yourself and enjoying whoever you want to enjoy. Winter is the ultimate time for couples though. All of a sudden the emphasis is on snuggling up with your lover while it snows outside. It’s on family and creating a family. It’s all about having someone to kiss on New Years. Getting caught up in that mindset is why people like me, who are better off single, find themselves in a bad relationship during winter just for the sake of being in a relationship. So I’m here to prevent myself and others from falling into that trap (again) by giving you some damn good perks of being single during the holidays.

Keep in mind these are told from a straight girl’s point of view, so you might have to tweek a few of them to fit your own lovely preferences..

Single men with beards!
They’re here! They’re everywhere! I looooove facial hair and the winter is when men are most likely to grown out their peach fuzz into an actual beard. Thank you, cold weather, for doing at least one thing that doesn’t make me miserable.

Free Drinks
I mentioned it before, a pretty, single girl at the bar is gonna get a few drinks bought for her. Just as long as you see them getting made and they’re not just brought over to you, go for it.

I’m one of those people that goes all out for presents for my boyfriends (or, you know, I was) I know it’s typically men who end up spending more on their ladies with dates and whatnot, but I like to pay every once in a while and then go big on gifts so they know I appreciate everything they do for me. Enter a long time period where I don’t need to do that and all of a sudden I have extra cash! (this actually doesn’t apply to me this year since I don’t have money anyways, but it’s nice to reminisce)

I love that I can go wherever I want and not have to be surrounded by close friends/boyfriends to enjoy myself. This means that when I am with my close friends (like I will be tonight!) I’ll be having the best time because if these weren’t the people I absolutely wanted to be with then I’d just be by myself!

Family Time
I’m sure it’s great to spend Christmas with your significant other, but I spent mine with my family. And again, I was able to be there 100%, with nothing pulling me away from them. There was lots of sitting around and drinking tea in front of the fire while we laughed at our cat stalk a packing peanut around the house.

Having a special someone to be in a relationship with is an amazing experience. However, I’m not in a rush to be sharing my life with anyone, and I honestly resent it when people assume I’m not happy by myself. I’m an interesting person and that’s what counts when it’s just me, myself, and I. I don’t need anyone else to entertain me or keep me happy! I’m too busy living my life to regret not going steady with a guy.

I hope ya’ll have an amazing New Year whether you’re with friends, your partner, or just rocking it by yourself!


Wednesday, December 30, 2015

How to Fix Your New Year's Resolutions!

Welp it’s getting to that lovely time of the year where we spend a night out with our friends, get a little (holy shit a lot) out of control, and then pretend everything’s gonna change for the better as soon as that big shiny ball drops and a new year begins.

Yeah, sure. If you say so I guess.

To those of you who’ve laid out this insanely long list of New Year’s Resolutions, who throw out that #newyear #newme bullshit, and who waited two whole months to decide to go to the gym instead of just going now; I have some spoilers: none of it will work. You’ve put too much pressure on yourself to completely turn your life around, and it’s not gonna happen cause that’s not how life works. And this is coming from someone who barely has two decades of experience under her belt (me!).

Story time: when I was 17 New Years kind of snuck up on me, and I basically forgot to make resolutions until the day of. It honestly didn’t cross my mind until a friend brought up hers. So when she asked me what my goals were for the year, I did a quick little assessment and thought “hmm, I kinda want whiter teeth. So I guess I won’t drink dark sodas anymore.”

And that was my goal. One thing. Pretty simple. Don’t drink dark soda.

And you know what, it’s been three years and I’ve basically cut soda out of my diet entirely. Sure, I splurge every now and then and get a Dr. Pepper (my dark soda kryptonite) when I go out to dinner; but for the most part it’s gone. And that didn’t happen initially. When I was 17 I was playing three sports all year long and every single away game ended up at a McDonald’s or a In-n-Out, and that meant every meal came with a soda. But I stuck with Sprite. And then a few months later when it was Softball season I decided to take it a step further and drink lemonade (I now realize that this wasn’t actually a healthier choice, but back then I thought it was so I’m calling it a win!) and finally it got to the point where I’d just ask for a water cup. Boom! Healthy and money saving!

That whole thing really made me reevaluate the way I make goals, so this is what I do now:

1.       I start with what I want (not just for this new year, but with life in general)

2.      I take that broad idea and I make two or three specific goals that can directly help me achieve that. (I decided now that I’m a sort of grownup I can handle three goals instead of just the one)

3.      I write them down. Not only does this help me remember them, it helps remind me when slip up (which I do…a lot)

4.      I give myself time to do them. I don’t force them all on myself at once. Baby steps!

5.      I do this multiple times a year. I should probably do it more often, but at the very least three times a year I give myself a look over and try to make a change for the better.

My friend James has a policy that he tries to live every day in a way that he can say when he lies back down at night, “I’m better than when I got up this morning”. James is also a priceless specimen of human awesomeness, which means I’m nowhere near this kind of level. Instead of thinking that way day to day, I try and apply it to my month and/or year. Because sometimes being absolutely perfect and goal oriented isn’t as much fun as going out on New Year’s Eve and making a shit ton of mistakes.

Basically what I’m saying is that goals are amazing and you should definitely look to improve yourself, but also cutting yourself some slack and improving in baby steps is a better option than expecting perfection and then quitting once you realize that’s not possible(seriously, going from living life on the couch to working out six times a week isn’t something you’ll be able to do. We can’t all be a James right away)

Have a spectacular New Year and feel free to drop a comment on how you keep your goals (like I said, only two decades of experience over here. Lots to work on!)


Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Breaking the Silence


Time to break my blogging silence by TOTALLY.NERDING.OUT!


If not, don’t worry. I’m not gonna spoil anything for you except for saying that it.was.AMAZING!!!!! And also anyone who’s hating on it is a total poop. I just saw it for the second time and it was everything I wanted it to be. Total package. The director and screen writers did an amazing job of bringing back the spirit of the original trilogy while also making it accessible to the new generation of badass nerds who are now Star Wars fans. I was so impressed with the character development of all the main characters, especially the villain. He was sooooo cool! I’ve already geeked out to all my friends about my new obsession with him. I know there’s been some hate towards the actor but I honestly thought he did a spectacular job!

Okay, I got that out of my system. I’ll be honest, I tried to make my first post back as a really nice statement on the holidays, and the importance of family, and all that nonsense; but it really wasn’t flowing. And as soon as I started writing about Star Wars my fingers were just flying. So, oops! Guess the sappiness will have to wait!

Instead, I’m gonna take you through everything I’m excited to read and/or watch over the next long while.

1.       ALL THE SUPERHERO MOVIES! It may not surprise you to know I’m absolutely obsessed with all movies/tv shows that involve a superhero. It started way back when with teenytiny Ellie geeking out over Smallville, and kinda mutated and grew from there. Here’s a taste of where my interests lie:
·         Batman vs Superman
·         Daredevil Season 2 on Netflix
·         Justice League
·         Captain America: Civil War
·         Thor: Ragnarok
·         X-Men Apocalypse
·         Wonder Woman
·         Deadpool
·         Suicide Squad
·         Doctor Strange
·         The Avengers
·         The Flash
·         I just realized I’ll never be able to finish this list and I should have just left it with ALL OF THEM.

2.      The Man In the High Castle My ma and I just started watching the Amazon series of this and it’s so good I’m just gonna have to snag it from my friend and read the original book by Phillip K. Dick. Basically it’s a “what if the Nazis won the war” dystopia kind of novel.

3.      The Jungle Book they’re making a live action version of it and the preview is amazing!!!! (I know I’m using that word to describe a lot of things, but it’s possible for a lot of things to be amazing so I’m sticking with it)

4.      Harry Potter and the Cursed Child/Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them Harry Potter will always be my favorite book series. It spanned my entire childhood and now JK Rowling has become the gift that keeps on giving!

5.      Dracula I’ve been reading this book for about a year now (thanks to college for getting in the way of that) and damnit, I’m gonna finish it soon! It’s an amazing horror read, and that’s coming from someone who generally doesn’t like the horror genre.

I’m honestly not the most diehard nerd ever (not even close), and there are some part of the culture that I’m not a huge fan of i.e the incredibly common objectification of women (thank you Star Wars for breaking the mold and showing a strong female lead in all the right ways). It’s still a world that I love being a part of and I’m SO EXCITED for all of the new releases that are coming our way!